One in three victims of family violence are male

Men's stories

MEN’S PERSONAL STORIES

If you are a male victim of family violence – intimate partner violence, violence from other family members, child abuse, elder abuse, sexual assault, or other forms of family violence and abuse – this page is available for you to tell your anonymous story. Please click here to tell your own story. If you feel like you need support, please click here. Stories are moderated to prevent the posting of spam, so it might take a little while for your story to appear on this page.

 

Burto's personal story

I was married for 24 years, mentally and physically abused. When I tried to leave early on, her parents told me they would use all their money and contacts in the masons lodge and associated legal persons to make sure I would never see my children again. I could not and would not leave them solely in her care. She thought it was OK to hit them across the head, arms, legs and so-on. She was even investigated once from a report from a local person.

Now once the children came of age I split, only failed my daughter by two weeks short of her 18th birthday. My ex-wife cornered our son's fiance in a corner of his bedroom screaming and raving, this destroyed any chance they had. This was the final straw for me, causing severe distress as my son had thoughts of suicide from losing his fiance. I never thought I could become that shattered - my nerves are stiil shot. As a man I was raised to be strong.

Now comes the ridiculous part: because I was the main income provider, and she refuses to work, the children are in their 20s and stayed with me until she forced the sale of the house to get us out of our "cosy little habitat" (her words). Under the current laws her future needs outway mine and I have to give her most of my superanuation and most of the money from the house sale although I am classified as 13.8 percent disabled due to shoulder injury but can still work living on painkillers. She has no physical issues whatsoever and quit her job when I tried to get it settled in court - I am reliably informed she did this to get a greater portion of the settlement which has been going on for three and a half years. So apparently she should get 60 percent. How can this be fair in any way whatsoever?

The courts are forcing men to put up with abuse or lose everything they have worked their whole lives for. I am 50 now and can never recover from that much loss.

One in Three Campaign