One in three victims of family violence are male

Men's stories

MEN’S PERSONAL STORIES

If you are a male victim of family violence – intimate partner violence, violence from other family members, child abuse, elder abuse, sexual assault, or other forms of family violence and abuse – this page is available for you to tell your anonymous story. Please click here to tell your own story. If you feel like you need support, please click here. Stories are moderated to prevent the posting of spam, so it might take a little while for your story to appear on this page.

 

Paul's personal story

My name is Paul. I was in a relationship for five years with the woman of my dreams who was also my high school sweetheart. She found me on Facebook back in 2011 after my first marriage of 28 years had come to its end, so after an 18 month break from my permanent relationship, I fell in love with Joanne.

When we first met we fell in love at first sight. She had many problems - business, family, lots of issues. I tried to leave many times but couldn't. She owned my heart and I was in love. To cut a long story short, I fixed her businesses up, turned them into wealth; we bought houses together, cars, holidays every 3 months overseas. It was hard but we had made it - living the high lifestyle. After 6 months I knew she had mental health issues - going to kill herself all the time. Her kids wouldn't help her so I did.

December last year while working in Melbourne and she was in Queensland in our family home she took out a DVO against me to remove me from the family home as I was trying to get her help for suicidal threats all the time. I reported to the police to help me. I called them out 3 times but she would turn it all on me. The police don't believe a man at all.

I was physically punched in the face, mentally abused and the police did nothing. No charges or anything to her.

I moved to our Gold Coast properties and she continued to stalk me, break in to the house while I'm sleeping, steal phones and computers, and to check if there is another lady in there. There wasn't - I'm in love with Joanne.

She takes me to court to have me removed from all our properties. I didn't argue because I love her. We have a massive million dollar claim going which had to be in court by the 20th December. She took a DVO out on me the 19th December.

So I cannot get any money from the claim. This was her plan to use the DVO system against me for financial gain.

So I'm removed from all our properties and the company pays for me to stay in a unit in Brisbane.

She constantly stalks and follows me. I report it. All the time she rings, texts, everything, I tell the police and I'm charged with breaching the DVO.

The claim falls over. She blames me. August this year she asks me to meet her for a drink. She doesn't turn up. I come back to the unit and wake up in hospital with a broken nose, loss of eyesight and fractures to my face. Now I have an ABI brain injury.

I know who did it. I told the police the words they used and everything, but I got charged for breaching the DVO for texting her before the assault.

I could have died. A baseball bat across the face by 3 people in my driveway. They had followed me home and planned it all week. The police know this but haven't even spoken to her.

Why?

I have all the messages here but if I show the police I will be charged again for breaching the DVO.

Her messages to me:

"we are going to get you tonite"
"we are watching you recording everything you do"
"stay away claim the claim its my money".

It goes on and on.

Now I'm scared to leave at all. She has got me in the unit she pays for to control who, what or anything in my life.

I need help but I'm too scared to ask anyone.

Please use this story as you wish.

One in Three Campaign