One in Three Campaign

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Alice's personal story

My father is a victim of domestic abuse.

My mother would scream and abuse my father for hours on end. It went on like this forever. She held tiny things against him. Such as how he farted one time 20 years before (I kid you not) and would rave for hours. She also told us about his girlfriend before he met her. She'd show us pictures and insult him based on his past girlfriend (whom he'd dated decades before this happened) She even made sure my 7 year old brother knew about it.

It got worse when one day when I noticed my dad had a black eye. My mum justified it as “I was so angry.” I hated her for doing that. Being angry wasn't an excuse.

Things got even worse after the first punch. He would often have black eyes, she did her best to humiliate and financially cripple him. He provided well, we had 2 beautiful homes, news cars every other year, designer clothes… It was never enough.

Seeing that she'd become a villain in her children's eyes because of her constant physical, emotional and financial abuse of our father, she decided to turn us against him.

She would pick small things, perhaps a smudge on the bathroom mirror, and abuse one her children for hours. She would then turn to our father and scream at him to “Be a man and smash their face in!” She would always try to convince him to hit his own kids for small things, and eventually for no reason at all.

She would abuse my father for hours, hitting, screaming, all of it. Trying to get him to attack us because for no reason at all. He never did, and to his credit he never hit her back either.

One Christmas Eve she'd abused him all day, when it came to night she'd forced him to sleep on the living room floor (the lounge was too good for him) He was reading a book my brother had given him as an early gift. My mother ripped it to shreds and kicked him in the face.

He would never leave, she kept getting pregnant, saying things like “The older kids have a choice whether they see you or not I get to make the choice for the baby” in her exact words. He couldn't even go to the corner store without having to bring a family member with him.

She's cheated on him constantly throughout their marriage which has spanned decades. One time when she started beating him he pushed her away. She threatened to charge him with abuse. She told everyone how abusive he was for pushing her away, despite her decades of violence.

She would seduce whatever friends he had left. Leaving him with nobody.

Male Victims of abuse, I ask that you report your abusive partner, don't live like this for decades like my father has done. Nobody deserves the mental, emotional, physical abuse that my father was put through because of one evil woman. I beg that any abused man reading this get's out of his abusive relationship before he realises that decades have passed.

Men are victims too.