I have a friend that I care a lot about who is a victim of domestic violence. For years he had been ringing me and telling little bits about what she had been doing to him. At first I said what have you been doing for her to get so angry but as time passed and he told me more about her violence and controlling behaviour I told him to get out of the relationship.

Everyone in his life was telling him to leave her. Eventually after five years they broke up and that is when he confided in me the truth about what she had been doing to him. For nearly their whole relationship she had been verbally, emotionally and physically abusing him. This included using the most vile language and degrading names at him, telling him and her work mates constantly that he was useless and no good and that he was the abusive one. Physically she hit, punched, slapped, threw things and eventually drove her car into him. On this occasion he called the police and they believed him that she did it. Unfortunately he did not agree to press charges as they have never believed him in the past and he did not want her to get into trouble.

His life has been a nightmare for years. He is back with her again and I firmly believe that one day she will kill him. she is a psychopath and I believe that she did the same thing to her ex husband. I hope he finds the courage and gets help to enable him to leave but I don't think he ever will. He knows that the relationship is a disaster but he can not bring himself to leave. She has brainwashed him into believing that he loves her and that he is totally useless and worthless.

How do you help someone that just does not seem to want help as they can not see their future on their own before they are well enough to have a relationship with someone who truly cares and would treat him well. To my friend please please get strong enough to leave. You deserve so much better. Take care