Roger's personal story

THIS IS MY SUBMISSION I SENT TO THE FAMILY LAW COURT ENQUIRY - JOINT SELECT COMMITTEE ON AUSTRALIA’S FAMILY LAW SYSTEM

Individual witness submission

My submission

This is how, why and where Family Law failed me terribly back in the late 90s.

Wife made false allegations of a sexual nature, alleged that my Daughter’s vagina was torn from vagina to anus aged about 6 at the time and it was alleged that I had touched my son’s willy when a Kindergarten teacher reported to my wife something about Dad and willy and in her state of mind which I assessed way prior to this was bi-polar, she took on as me touching my son’s willy.

DOCs who I had tried to report more than once way prior to these allegations that they should investigate my wife’s behaviour and our dysfunctional relationship, because I was worried that her volatile and regular uncontrolled outbursts were filling my young children’s heads full of fear.

They didn’t, said they were understaffed and too busy dealing with physical violence issues in the family home. I had also tried marriage counselling but she was non compliant, believing she was a disciple of God and beyond approach.

Eventually when my daughter's allegation arose after we had lost everything through my wife’s unnecessary interference in my business of 14 years, we had to walk away from cars and mortgaged house to live and rent a semi-rural property, which I chose thinking moving out of town and a larger space might help my wife’s irrational state of mind.

DOCs arrived admidst the accusation and insisted I move out but barely investigated the matter despite my protestations, mostly I believed that they were understaffed and my wife was so vocal and so determined to be believed about everything that no-one dared question her.

She even told DOCs shortly thereafter that she missed me physically and asked that I be brought back to live with her. Any woman of a sane mind who believed I had interfered with my children wouldn’t do that.

Our children had shared the family bed together with us for far too long, like Daughter 6 & son 4 and despite my complaining that this was wrong on numerous occasions and there was a prepared room for them she refused to put them in their own room.

Off to court we eventually went - far too long after the events. In my evidence I insisted that when she rang me at work to report this tear to my young daughter’s vagina she take her to our Family Doctor immediately, which she did and the date was confirmed on that day by our Doctor’s reports.

The same day at the request of our Family Doctor she was taken to the sexual assault clinic in Penrith and they reported that there wasn’t a mark on her, but my wife argued vehemently in court that it wasn’t the same day, despite an authority stamping it the same date.

The court ruled that I have access to our children again obviously because of this overwhelmimg evidence to the contrary and other evidence which pointed to her not being credible.

Also a court appointed child psychologist reported that our children had a misguided and unwarranted fear of their Father.

AT THIS POINT A PSYCHIATRIC REPORT ON MY EX WIFE should have been ordered.

Another failure of Family Law. I was after this from Day 1 and it didn’t happen until near the end when I ran out of money and energy, had engaged another Lawyer who was useless, having gone through a similar case himself some years before, plus I was suicidal by then, loved my children, was innocent, and amidst all of this stress I started a new business again, with no money then winning an Éntrepreneur Of The Year Award.

Despite this overwhelming evidence and a threat by the judge that she was abusing the system she continued with her belief and brainwashing and not too long after I had gained access, every 2nd weekend Friday through to Sunday and had provided their own separate beds, our children were happy in my presence, I made sure we had plenty of activities together, with our dog Sheila and I freed myself from work those weekends, but every 2nd Sunday late in the afternoon when they knewtheir Mother and new boyfriend were coming to pick them up they became noticeably sullen/morose.

My ex-wife shortly thereafter stopped access one Friday night, for no apparent reason so back to court we had to go again.

Unfortunately my solicitor and barrister had gone as far as they could with my case and couldn’t help me anymore. WHY? Another failure in the Family Law court system and when I went back to court there was always a different judge, not familiar with our case - ANOTHER failure in the Family Law system.

My Barrister also suggested that following the judge’s report about DOCs, I should sue them, but shortly before that date the Government had made departments like DOCs immune from prosecution. ANOTHER MAJOR FAILURE BY GOVERNMENT ON FAMILY LAW ISSUES.

I walked away from all my assets and successful businesses when I lost contact with my children and after finding they had left the area. They moved to a town in W.A. I left the country to save my life and refused to go to the Doctors to be assessed as clinically depressed and then put on anti-depressants which eventually I believe would have made my health worse.

I had even hung the noose in a big oak tree on the property I rented for my successful business when my dog got killed around the same time I was battling with severe depression and thinking of taking my dog with me overseas. Some say she was so sensitive to my pain and concern for my future that she laid her life down for me.

I am now aged 68, completely penniless, still have suicidal thoughts, mostly because Family Law failed me big time.

I have met my daughter after 23 years, after returning from Vietnam which saved my life, but I am proud that she has done well and married well, but we are complete bloody strangers and I find it very difficult to not express my anger and complete hatred for her Mother and interfering Stepfather. I am yet to meet my son who still lives with the perpetrators, so the brain washing continues and he no doubt grows up with psychological problems, thinking his Father is weak and a pedophile.

This badly handled Family Law case has ruined so many lives, sent my lovely Mother & Father to an early grave and ruined my life. I am now a broken man and penniless.

YOU CAN HANG YOUR HEADS IN SHAME as representatives of FAMILY LAW and if you think this story is bad I have glossed over it - this is a very abbreviated version of a far worse story.